Fairest of Them All
by PureWaterLily
Summary: Once upon a time, there lived a king, a queen, and their two sons. The problem with this fairy tale is that we have already one prince too many and no princess in sight. Oh boy. SasuIta.


A/N. I like making up riddles. And I challenge readers to solve them on their own.

* * *

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a king, a queen, and their two sons. Unfortunately for the king and queen, when their sons came of age, none of their neighboring kingdoms had any princesses to offer a royal hand. Troubled, the queen sent her husband to resolve this problem.

"Please, make haste," said the queen. "I must know of my future daughter-in-law."

And so, the king went to up the mountains to a house with a lone scarecrow in front. Inside the house resided the one-eyed prophet, who looked up from his orange book of ancient wisdom. He told the king, "Well, if there are no princesses to be wed, make one."

The king took these words to heart, paid the prophet generously, and relayed the news back to his wife. The king said, "Let us host a competition, a battle of beauty, wits, and talent of the finest girls within our kingdom. The winner shall be made our princess."

"But dear," said the queen, "that gives us one princess, but two princes. To whom will this princess be given?"

"Why, the elder, of course," said the king.

Displeased, the queen said, "Then what of our younger?"

"Ah, he may have the runner-up," said the king. And then he waved away the importance of the issue.

Unbeknownst to the king and queen, the younger prince lied behind the door, listening. Upon hearing his parents' plan, he dashed off, consumed with indignation. Yes, the elder prince was more magnificent with the horse, and the sword, and the arrow. But he had also long-deserted the family in pursuits of the frivolous, not even written home a letter. Meanwhile, it was he, the younger prince, who overtook the duty of the kingdom and looked after their parents. How be it justice his brother be delighted with the loveliest girl upon his return, while his reward for all his filial duty was the inferior good?

So, the young prince decided to take matters into his own hands. He saw the witch doctor in the far remote corners of the kingdom's swamp, and banged on the door.

"Ah, how may I be of asssistance, my prinsse..." said the witch doctor, slithering to and fro, dancing his bony fingers across the young prince's shoulder.

"I need some... medicine," said the young prince. He picked up one of the many concoctions on the table, but the doctor took away the vial before he could get a sniff.

"Ah, ah, ah. Careful," said the witch doctor in a soft hiss, tucking the vial away. "While a sstrong cure againsst poissons, I would not touch thiss lessst you alsso wissh to be turned a lasssie..."

"A girl? Can you do that?" asked the young prince, intrigued.

"Of coursse." The witch doctor laughed in mirth. "For essample..." A elongated red jar. "Thiss keepss the eyess of any man..." A less opaque teal fluid. "Thiss givess you the voisse of the sirenss." A small purple bottle. "And thiss makess you fairesst maiden in the entire kingdom..."

Unable to keep his curiosity, the young prince questioned, "The fairest, you say?"

"Whoever drinkss thiss will, for three dayss and three nightss, take the appearansse of a maiden the mosst beautiful of any kingdom. A voisse that can charm the birdss, and a ssmile that makess the ssun to hide in sshame," said the witch doctor.

Struck with a cruel idea, the young prince asked for the bottle. He then set off on a journey to find the most hideous, irksome woman in existence to bless with it. He can imagine his brother's expression when the winner revealed to be but a wretched hag. Meanwhile, the real beauty would become his own bride.

However, from town to town, alley to alley, he remained perpetually dissatisfied. The ugly and disfigured, oh there were those. The heckling, too many to choose from. But even with the potion, would they win? Would it be enough? The young prince grew nervous of the possibility that the hag would land onto his lap by accident. Oh, that would be the worst of fates indeed, enough for him to think of abandoning his plan.

The young prince was just about to forgo his journey when he caught sight of a maiden by a river. She was black as soot, clothes ragged and torn. But as she washed the laundry, the waters cleaned away the cinders from her skin, revealing snow-white skin and long ebony hair. The melody she hummed charmed the birds, and the sun had vanished behind the clouds in shame. Captivated, the young prince stepped closer.

Instantly, the birds flew away. Alarmed, the maiden turned around, clutching a bundle of laundry closely to her chest.

"This kingdom hosts a competition for a new princess," declared the young prince. "You... You will compete and become my wife!"

However, before he could seize her wrist and deliver a kiss, she had evaded and ran into the woods. He chased after her, but the woods were dark and shadowed. Very soon, branches extended their unforgiving hands and crows blinded his vision.

She was gone.

The day of the competition, girls from the entire kingdom entered the grand ballroom. In their generous ruffles and peacock dresses, they giggled and laughed, dancing with the lords and counts. The young prince looked and looked, but whom he desired was not amongst them.

He had fallen to near despair, until one last maiden stepped into the ball, right before the grand doors closed. It was the maiden by the river, in a dress plain and uninteresting, with no jewels around her neck. But her presence was far from slovenly, and her face gathered the attention of the entire ball. Many noblemen asked for her hand, and she danced with a grace that made the others envious.

The queen whispered to the king. "That one," she said. "I want her as my child."

The king frown. "A peasant?" he asked.

"Only in clothing. She will win," said the queen, rubbing the pendant at her neck.

The king examined the maiden some more, her mild demeanor and polite manners. He conceded, "Yes, drape her in your robes, and our elder son would be very pleased with her."

Hearing this, the younger son slid away from his seat and left in secrecy. Before a mirror, he shut his eyes, and drank the doctor's medicine. And instantly, his lips tinted the color of the potion, his skin became soft, and his hair long. He was garnished in an extravagant dress of crests and shoes of diamonds, and when he looked at himself, he almost fell in love.

At the conclusion of the last dance, the young prince stepped amongst the contestants in the grand ball, sending many faints and gasps, the men off their seats. The king instantly whispered to the queen. The young prince felt pleased with himself, knowing the competition was his. Some random hag was one thing, but now, he will make sure his brother gets nothing, let the grand winner disappear.

And indeed, when it came time for the judging, he won. He was the fairest of them all, without a single blemish on his body nor a speck of dust on his gown. His radiance overshadowed the maiden of the river by far. Eclipsed, she and her plain clothing and mild demeanor retreated.

However, the contest was not over.

"My lovely dears," said the queen. "Be not discouraged, for we seek not only beauty, but wit. A true princess must be both beautiful and intelligent."

Cursing at his mother, the young prince was forced to continue to the next round. One by one, the girls were escorted into the throne room, where the queen sat with a set of scrolls. By the time the young prince was in queue, he listened carefully to the instructions given to the contestant before him.

"Now dear," said the queen. "I will give you a set of riddles. We will stop when you do not have an answer. Do listen carefully...

_You know when I approach, but never when I arrive._  
_And only after I'm gone, do you know when I have left._  
_You may keep me away, but will feel awful doing so._

"What am I?"

The girl thought over the riddle long and hard, and so did the young prince.

"It is... a baseball bat? No wait, bad weather. Ham!"

The queen shook her head, and the girl made her exit. When the young prince stepped up to the throne, he listened carefully as the queen repeated the riddle a second time, and he confidentially gave his reply.

"My Queen, you are Sleep."

The queen, pleased by the response, continued. "Very good. Now then...

_I make promises, but cannot keep them,_  
_Yet you always put your hopes in me._  
_I am always close, but can never come to you._

"What am I?"

The young prince frowned. The answer was too simple, but somehow, "a two-faced compulsive liar too caught up in folly to write home" seemed to him a better fit. Or perhaps the weatherman. "You are Tomorrow, my Queen," said the young prince.

Once again, the queen was pleased. "Excellent. Now how about this?

_Everyone wants it, but no one needs it._  
_Many lose it, but no one has it._  
_Yet he who truly loves you will give you his._

"What is it?"

Now, the young prince was truly stuck. There were many things people want but do not need. But something no one had, but could be lost and given? He thought and thought, but this, he had no answer to. So he shook his head and conceded to his loss. When called for the next girl in queue, the maiden of the river stepped before the queen and bowed. In light of the same riddle, she cast a glance at the exiting young prince and smiled.

"It is Everything, my Queen," she whispered. "He who truly loves you will give you his everything."

At the conclusion of the second round, only a handful of contestants were selected to continue. The young prince was pleased both he and his object of interest were still in the running. Now, the king rose from his throne and said, "As we can see, there are many women in this kingdom both of beauty and wit. However, a true princess must be beautiful, intelligent, and talented. Tell me, what talents can you service us with?"

Thus, one by one, the girls lined up and presented their talents to the king. First was a girl with hair the color of flowers. "And what can you do, my dear?" asked the king.

"My King, why, I can recite every book within the kingdom," said the girl of flowers. She proceeded to quote everything from science to poetry, and the king was impressed.

"Such education and diligence. Our kingdom could surely use your extensive knowledge," said the king. "And what is your talent, my dear?" he asked a girl with hair the color of sunshine.

"My King, why, I can make any plant in the kingdom blossom," said the girl of sunshine. She brought in a rare flower amidst decay, and after watering and care, the petals opened in life.

"To bring life and beauty into the kingdom is a precious gift indeed," said the king. Then, to a girl with hair the color of fire, he asked, "What about you, my dear?"

"My King, why, I can detect and trace the smell of anything in the kingdom," said the girl of fire. She was blindfolded and asked to identify fifty different scents from all over the kingdom, and she answered correctly every time.

"What I would give to have such an expert by our dinner table. No poison can pass us ever again," said the king. Then, to the girl with hair the color of wood, he asked, "Tell me, what surprise beholds you?"

"My King, why, I can hit any target, still or moving, big or small, in this entire kingdom!" said the girl of wood. She stretched out her bow of ten arrows and pierced the eyes of ten birds miles high in the sky.

"Now this is a lady I enjoy taking with me to the hunt!" said the king, his chest boasted proud. Then, to the young prince, he asked, "Now, what talent do you have that can outdo those before you?"

The young prince faltered for a moment, wondering when the hell the women in his kingdom became so... _intense_, because even he cannot hit ten out of ten scores. Nine-ten maybe. That was when he recalled the words of the witch doctor.

"My King, why, I can sing." And so, the young prince began to sing. He sang in a voice so melodious and pure, it charmed the birds, rippled the water, hushed everyone in the entire chamber.

When he finished, the king gave a slow clap, and said, "I have never heard a voice to rival our noble Queen's until now. Thank you, young lady."

The young prince glanced around the silent room and grinned. "Thank you, my King."

Finally, the only contestant left was the maiden of the river. "Last but not least. Now, after all these brave performances, what about you," said the king. "What talent do you have to outshine them all?"

The maiden paused for a while, before she lifted her head, and said, "Nothing, my King."

"Nothing?" asked the king, at a loss. "Do not be modest, my dear. There must be something special you can service our fine kingdom with."

"A service, I can provide. A skill, I can learn with time. However, I have no talent worthy of show, my King."

The king grew impatient, and said, "Then give me whatever you can."

The maiden looked to the king, and after some thought, asked for a pot. The young prince watched as she poured in water, and sliced vegetables, and fanned the fire. The other girls watched too, scandalized, whispering how she intended to seize the title of a princess through peasants' chores. Others pondered if it was to be some kind of a magician's trick.

But the young prince guessed right, and it was of nothing more than cooking when she finally poured a bowl and presented it to the king.

After a sip, the king said, "This is the first time I have ever found this pauper kind of dish delicious." He set aside the soup, and asked, "How did you accomplish such a feat?"

The reply was as simple as the trick. "I made this past dinner time, my King," said the maiden.

The king could not contain his surprise. Then he laughed. "Is that so," he said.

Suddenly, he stood up and announced to end the contest for the day. He and the queen led the remaining girls to a dining hall for a celebratory feast so all could eat and drink to their hearts' content. However, few could stomach such luxury, for they were all too anxious. They whispered to each other, wondering who was the winner the king and queen had decided upon.

Finally, the king lifted up his chalice and with a spoon, clicked it thrice.

"My ladies, after much contemplation, we have decided far too many qualify for the title of princess. And as such, we will give one last question. She who answers correctly will be the winner."

The whispers magnified ten-fold as they all asked themselves, what? What could this fate-determining question be?

However, the king said, "This question, we will hold off until tomorrow. In the meantime, we wish you all a good meal and night within the palace." With that, the king and queen left the dining hall, the large door closed in privacy.

And so, the young prince cast a furtive glance towards the maiden of the river, who glanced back before returning to her wine. She was different from the others who his elder brother would adore, the generous ruffles and peacock dresses. While the volume within the room rose, and manners grew poor, she remained unchanging. She said little, ate conservatively, drank moderately. Her posture was as welcomed as the second she stepped into the palace, and the young prince could help but feel an odd familiarity within her presence. It was comforting, serene, and damn it, he was not going to lose her to his traitorous brother.

"Ladies, your rooms," said the guards.

And the young prince found himself in a grand bedchamber with a made bed and the warmth of a fireplace. What he did not expect was company, as the maiden joined him inside.

"I am to reside here for the night," the young prince told her, believing her to be mistaken. But she was not, and replied, "Two contestants will share a room. It is the will of the King and Queen."

"But why?" objected the young prince. "It is not as if the palace is on a shortage of rooms."

"But there are six remaining contestants, only two possible winners, and one question which decides all our fates. Some are bound to be anxious."

"Do you imply that some of us will _cheat_?" asked the young prince.

"I think it is a possibility," said the maiden. "And that if one attempts something, the other has much more motivation than the guards to report her."

"And if both plot together?" asked the young prince.

The maiden smiled, and said, "Cooperation can go awry in many ways. The King and Queen are wise."

Two a room and two winners, the young prince thought. Were the king and queen discouraging or encouraging the contestants to cheat? Were they seeking a noble princess or a cunning one? Knowing his parents, the young prince guessed it was probably both. He laid back on the bed, and covered his face. Then, he turned to the maiden, who had rested by the fireplace, and said, "You will not go. I had seen the Queen's expression. You had been very good at her riddles."

"Perhaps," said the maiden. "But I do not think the question is just another test of wit."

"And yet, I am in dread fear you will win," said the young prince.

The maiden gave a questioning look. "If so, I would not have expected it," she said.

"Then what did you expect when you came here? A consolation prize?" leaked the young prince's sarcasm.

"I am not sure what I expected. I was told to compete... and I did," said the maiden, as she sat by the bed, by the young prince's side. "Might I have some assistance?"

"With wh-" The young prince stared at her bare back and shoulders, the crisscross of loosened lacing, and felt his face burn hot. Quickly turning around, he closed his eyes, and said, "There are chambermaids in this palace! Use them!"

"We are both women, are we not?" the maiden asked in innocence. "And it is of rather inconvenience-"

"The maids!"

In the early hours of morning, another banquet had been prepared, but with two contestants removed off the premise. Two others appeared triumphant, but also weary and troubled, everything on their bodies slightly askew. Finally, the young prince and the maiden arrived last, after another dressing skirmish and fumbles of embarrassment, but nonetheless well-slept.

"Why are we two short?" asked the young prince, though he knew the answer.

"They were wood and fire placed in the same room. Of course things would burn," said the girl with flowers, and there were no more questions.

When all the girls were towards the end of their meal, the queen rose her glass and clicked it thrice. "I would like to take the time to congratulate everyone remaining thus far. After the searching an entire kingdom, we have finally found the girls who repeatedly demonstrate remarkable beauty, excellent wit, undeniable talent, and upholding character. Now, there is only one last thing to look for: her will. The will of a true princess, and future queen. So, as the current queen, I pose one last question."

Everyone waited.

"If you, as Queen, you could rescue and protect only one party of two in danger, which would you choose? Your family, or your kingdom?"

The young prince nearly dropped his silverware.

"Everyone has one hour to contemplate. The person to first give me the answer I seek will be given the title of princess." The queen then exited, to await their responses at her throne. After her absence, no one spoke for the longest time.

Finally, the girl with the hair of sunshine stood up, and said, "I shall go."

"It has only been minutes. Are you not boasting too much confidence?" said the girl with the hair of flowers.

"No. There are only two answers, correct? No matter how you think of it, it is fifty-fifty. And no matter what, you can be the first one right or the first one wrong, but both are still better than being the second of either."

"But-"

"Tell you what," the girl of sunshine told the girl of flowers. "We already disagree, so come with me. And if I am wrong, then go for your answer."

"You are too rash," said the young prince irritably. "There must be of some trick behind the question, for the Queen is not one to leave such decisions to luck."

"You got the answer, genius?" When the young prince had nothing to retort, the girl with sunshine led the way to the throne room, and the rest followed.

The awaiting queen commended the girl of sunshine for her bravery, and said, "So what is your choice, my dear?"

"I choose the kingdom!" declared the girl of sunshine. "No matter what, it is the duty of royalty to protect its subjects. It is under this same condition that the subjects have given the rulers the power to govern them, that the subjects respect and trust them. So a failure to keep to this responsibility is also a failure to uphold this code of honor, thus undeserving of the title as ruler."

"That is very well spoken," said the queen, with a nod of her head. The young prince felt his heart drop, but then the queen added, "However, I am afraid to tell you that is not the answer I seek."

The girl of sunshine accepted her rejection, and stepped down, to have her position replaced by the girl of flowers.

"And what is your choice, my dear?"

"I choose the family," said the girl of flowers. "Although royalty has a duty to the kingdom, every child, mother, and wife has a duty to the family. Not only that, the royal family is especially crucial, as a governance is necessary to maintain the order of the land. A kingdom can always recover from wounds, but it will fall to chaos and decay if it loses its order and law."

"Of fine insight," said the queen, with a nod of her head. And the young prince felt his heart cartwheel again, until the queen added, "However, I am afraid to tell you that is not the answer I seek."

The girl of flowers could not hold back her surprise, but she stepped down as well.

As the young prince predicted, there was some trick within the answer. He scrutinized the face of his mother, but it was of a smoothed statue, and revealed nothing of the answer she desired. He then looked at the maiden, of a calm and understanding that told him she knew. She knew the answer the queen wanted, but she made no move, only glance at the young prince and wait for him. Surprised, the young prince swallowed, and turned inwards in thought.

He remained where he stood for a long time in contemplation, almost until the hour was up, before he finally stepped before the queen.

"Have you finally made your choice, my child?" asked the queen.

The young prince replied, "It is funny, my Queen, because it seems that if I only protect one, but not the other, I end up protecting nothing. A ruler without anything left to rule is laughable and hardly a ruler. But equally is a kingdom without a ruler, as that is not a kingdom anymore. In the face of this, I would choose to protect both."

"Both," repeated the queen. "But I gave you a choice of only one party."

"But it is one party, for the family and kingdom are one and the same. For the Queen, her family is not only her father and mother, husband and child, but extends to everyone under her care. Likewise, her subjects and subordinates make up a part of the kingdom, but so do her flesh and blood."

The queen smiled.

"You are clever, child. Everything you have said is correct," she said. And the young prince was ready to rejoice, when she sighed, "But unfortunately, he who tries to handle all is bound for failure, and your answer is not what I seek."

While the young prince stared at his mother, baffled, footsteps behind him finally approached the throne. The maiden placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a bittersweet smile.

The young prince uneasily stepped aside, and listened to the queen say, "I see from your eyes that you know. Or will you prove me wrong?"

The maiden took a slow breath. "If I were Queen," she said, "I would choose the path the King did not take."

The queen stood up from her throne and said, "Why?"

"Because, my Queen, the King and Queen enter together as a pair. One reigns, while the other consorts. One fulfills the duty to the kingdom, and the other fulfills the duty to the family, thereby mutually protecting each other and everyone around them. And maybe this will result in the two never meeting for years, even decades, as one must be gone to help the people, and the other must stay behind to help the family... but, this is the price of the royal family, is it not?"

The queen descended down, took the maiden's hand, and gave her blessing. "For your grace, your wisdom, your humility, we welcome you to our family, my child."

The young prince had not recovered by the time the queen had taken his hand as well.

"For your charm, your ingenuity, your artistry, we also welcome you to our family, my child."

It was only a day later that the young prince realized what had taken place. And thus, he palmed his face at his brilliant plan backfire, as he reported to his mother and father the sudden disappearance of his very beautiful fiancée, who he explained had went off to the nether lands for the search of other things. The bright side of every story, he suffered no overt side effects from said potion, with thankfully no missing body parts or irregularities.

Meanwhile, the other princess remained, dressed in gowns as she learned the dance, the sword, the etiquette of royal life. The young prince had never thought possible anyone as suiting for the title as her, only to remember that it was the elder prince she was awaiting to return.

"Stare at me any longer, my Prince, and I would have sworn you are in love," said the princess with a final thrust of her rapier. As with the dance, this came as natural to her as the flow of water.

"I just thought you would enjoy some company," said the young prince. "Letters have scattered the kingdom, yet my brother still hasn't realized a princess awaits for him every night on his empty bed."

The princess's smile was as unreadable as ever, yet as pleasurable as always. She set down her sword, and said, "Maybe your brother isn't who I was thinking of."

"Oh?" pushed the young prince. "Then who?"

"My family," said the princess. "After these days within this palace, I guess I have gotten what one may describe as homesickness, and realized how much I had longed to return to them."

"In that case, nothing prevents you from leaving like the other princess," said the young prince. "And truth be told, some days – or rather, all days – I feel my elder brother does not deserve your loyalty. Tell me, from where did you come?"

The princess mused over this, then said, "Many places. The forests of the south, the deserts of the west, the seas of the east, the mountains of the north... I had originally been of a caravan, the Dawn."

"Originally?"

"There were some... accidents, and I may or may not have fallen to the curse of an old witch," said the princess.

"Curse? What kind of curse?" demanded the young prince.

Another smile. "The old kind. The kind that still demand the traditional kiss from a prince to be broken."

"I see, then. So that is the reason you came here, waiting..." Before the princess had a word, the prince pulled her into his arms and delivered a kiss, gentle and pure.

And just as the old kind of curses worked, glitter in the air began to set in.

"Go. Go back to your home," whispered the young prince. The princess's eyes were soft, but she bowed, and she departed, and was no more.

Three days later, the young prince was by the lake, watching the reflections and ripples of the water, when suddenly, a bag dropped on him, opened to show many little gifts and trinkets from many parts of the land.

"You know, keep staring like that, and I swear you're in love with your very own reflection," said the elder prince.

Upon recovering from seeing his long-lost brother, the young prince finally retorted, "Says the narcissist. What in blasted hell was so spectacular in your journey that you went half a decade without a moment to spare a letter."

"Oh, the same old, same old," dismissed the elder prince. "Met some pretty ladies, slept with a _gorgeous _one, danced a little, practiced the sword a bit, and got every gentleman's fill of magic and romance."

The young prince felt his lower eye twitch in a compulsion out of his control, then spat, "Bah! You and your follies. I hope you get cursed!" With that, he stomped off, and the elder prince tagged behind, laughing.

Meanwhile, the king and queen were back at square one, because in this kingdom far, far away, there lived a king, a queen, their two sons, no princess, and that was not changing any time soon.

The end.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the kingdom of Lililand, there exists an entity called the Lily and her citizens, the Lilians. And to the Lilians, the Lily posed a riddle. The Lilian who is the first to solve it will be rewarded generously. So without further ado, the Lily opened her mouth and spoke:

_I only look back, never forward,_  
_Sometimes nameless, never wordless._  
_A reflection of society,_  
_Masked in numbers of deception,_  
_An endless source of desire and envy,_  
_Often held for hostage,_  
_Bribed to fuel those of conceit,_  
_As they beg for me,_  
_To beg them for more,_  
_Though my company becomes bitter,_  
_When I burn you to ashes_  
_Instead of warm your heart._  
_However, I turn from a drug,_  
_To a medicine when honest,_  
_An eternal source of wisdom,_  
_That may fail to speak the truth,_  
_And be prone to folly or religious devotion,_  
_When I say I love you,_  
_But nonetheless thoughtful and sincere._  
_So if you hate me, you can throw me away._  
_Otherwise, I'll remain faithfully by your side,_  
_Telling of you to the world._  
What am I?

The Lily would like to thank everyone who has participated in this contest. The riddle has now been solved by _l Obliviate l_.

However, since the answer has not been publicly revealed, readers are encouraged to keep trying if they so wish. Answers which have been tried, but unfortunately are not correct, are: Past, Inspiration, Righteousness, Time, History, Memories, Reputation, Panda, Watermelon, Carrot, Fame, Book, Diary.


End file.
